Hello world,
This blog is going to be an apology letter! I am sincerely sorry that I have not kept up with my blog, but as you will see reading more I have been quite busy, emotional, and changing these last two months! I hope you can accept this apology and we can still be the best of friends!
Now lets get on with it ----
The last time we had talked I had showed you my top five images from the studio, since than things have gone everywhere in every which way. I have thought about leaving the ship and starting new things, I had to be a penguin again, I had to be yelled at people by shooting restaurant shots. The moral of the story is I had to go back to the photo department for three weeks :( BOOOO. I was a really hard time for me because starting this new contract I was so set on working in the studio, being creative and doing my own thing! I had such an expectation for it, and new and great ideas, but once there everything was put on hold. It sucked. It made me reevaluate some of the things in my life currently.
Do I really want to be working the "ship life"? Do I still want to be in Hawaii? Why should I be here, right now in my life? Well those weeks I thought negatively about everything. I hate working on ships, Hawaii sucks, and this is ruining my life! Wow dramatic much?! I would say so! Well what I have come to find is that the "ship life" is a hard place to work in, but if you can stick it out there is a lot of potential. I would say 85% of the people working on ships all have to be there for a reason, everyone is running from something, somebody or recovering from something that dramatically changed their lives. I am not one of those people! So when your walking threw crew areas, its depressing. No one smiles, no one says hello, you can walk in the the lunch area and see three different people asleep with coffee and sugar spread all over the table. Its a hard thing to deal with coming from a small town where everyone is always so happy and loving. Then I started thinking why should I surround myself with these people!? Its making me depressed, then I started thinking Hawaii sucks as a whole. I have done everything there is to do, and Im over it, time to move on.... This all happened in my mind before, I found out some horrible news on Tuesday night.............
Robert Merrill, one of my best friends, a wonderful, kind guy, someone I use to live with, and share many many memories with was in an accident. When I found out the news, my heart sunk, tears came to my eyes, and I was ready to leave the ship at that instant. On top of everything that was going on in my life, this was the topper, this was the sign that I needed to leave this ship. So many thoughts went flying threw my head of what to do, but as my head started to over come my emotions I realized that there is nothing that I could do, besides hope and pray for my friend. Me being there was not going to solve anything, so why drop everything I have and go....
Well its been nine days since that time, and I have really put a lot of thought into my decisions, my future, and my life. During last week my corporate boss was on board doing a annual checkup.... great way to show off right.... but he sure did open my eyes to a whole different way of thinking of large corporations!
All and All I think I will be staying with the cruise life for a little longer. Lets hope everything works out, keep me in your thoughts, and please pray for Rob and his family!
I promise to try and keep this blog up to date from now on!
Love you all.
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